Rat-at-(m)oui-ille

Shree's uncle and aunt are in town and we'd invited them over for lunch yesterday. I managed to cook some chicken with the help of my mother-in-law and Mary (our maid support system). The kitchen sink is too small to hold dishes used to feed more than 2 people. So I dumped the whole lot in our tiny utility. Since we were in a frenzy to drop Shree's parents at the railway station, I didn't bother dumping any waste in the bin.

Today, I open the door of the utility to find a nice trail of bone pieces all over the floor. Follow the trail and it goes straight to our brand new washing machine. YIKES. First thought - 'Oh my God, another washing machine?!!' (Yes. I can be very materialistic too) Shree needs to get to work early and I've got to depend on our support system to get this sorted out.

So in come's Mary, zhaadu in haath (for the Hindi illiterate - broom in hand) and starts clearing the floor first. She walks up to the machine and while I'm expecting her to poke the broom in and draw the bones out, she sticks her hand around the corner (!!!!!) and checks for pieces behind the damned machine! While I'm standing awe-struck looking at her, she straightens her saree and declares - "Not to worry. A smart one, this. He's partied only in the corners. No machine-wrecking." Which I later figure out means, the little guy's only found a new place to enjoy his meals in. I wonder what I'm going to find in those corners tomorrow. Some low-fat cheese maybe?!!

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My epic saga

Marriage is quite an event in India. On second thought, it's quite an event in any culture - different rituals, different styles, different scenarios. The bottom line being - "Two people agreeing on sharing their lives together". That statement sounds real simple. And maybe it is. Except, we as humans complicate the whole 'agreeing' part.

I've had my share of agreements and disagreements with men. And honestly for some time I wanted to be by myself. The nagging never ceased, though. It's a conflict when you want to stay away from any kind of companionship and others want you to get a taste of it. For a long time I was resisting the idea of sharing my happy-go-lucky life with another person; someone I hadn't met before-hand, someone I wasn't familiar with, someone I hadn't spent quality time with. My whole argument started and ended with - "I'm way too comfortable with myself. Why compromise on that?!" I was never against the concept of marriage, but the minute it came to choosing someone, I'd prepare a list of prereqs. With every new person I met, the list seemed to get more complicated, more rigid.

Sometime in November, I had dinner with two of my colleagues. One of them - 45, happily married, father of two kids. The other - 35, happily single, trying to understand the need for marriage. After a casual discussion on the pros and cons of being married, the older chap said something that ticked off a thought in my mind. "The more time we spend deciding who we spend the rest of our lives with,", he said, "the more we want that person to be exactly like us." Turns out, that was right where I was heading with my list of prereqs. And I'm thinking - If I do end up finding someone exactly like me, life would be such a drag, wouldn't it? Yet, I didn't want to give up on my comfort level. Where was I to find someone unlike me and someone I was comfortable with?!

A few weeks and I was tired of thinking. I could feel the resistance in me. And like they say, "What one resists, persists". The thinking, analyzing, arguing just kept coming back. Each time with more complicated questions. Eventually, I gave up. I stopped thinking. Even if I sensed my thought process going towards the subject, I'd consciously turn my thoughts towards something else. Thankfully, it paid off.

In that state of stupor, I met someone and without the aid of my thinking mind, nodded a yes. Life hasn't been the same since. We got engaged in December and married in February. I've enjoyed every single moment of every single event. And yes, kept my thinking mind aside ALL the time. Life has never felt so beautiful! Maybe that's what they mean when they say - "Go with the flow"?!

Wishing all you guys a wonderful Holi!

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